Drifting

I find reasons to be angry with you so that it feels right when we aren’t talking. I’m watching you and your life move on while I’m standing right where you last left me. This isn’t about love. No, this is about something much more fragile, my best friend. Days will go by that we don’t talk, weeks. We recently almost went a month without a single word to each other.

I know that’s no big deal to most people but for someone who lead me through suicide and the early stages of my depression, when I was too afraid to be medicated. Someone that at one point, shared something so intimate and so close. It’s a big deal that I am growing apart from the person I held the closest to my heart, on multiple levels.

It’s easier to be mad at you than it is to convince myself that you no longer need me.

Died with you

My best friend and I have put space between us because of all of the problems either of us are facing. It’s only been a few days and I miss her and her impact on my day. I hold her so dear to my heart because more than once was she there when all I wanted to do was end my pain, she was the one that stopped me. I tried to not blog about this but after I heard this song again I had to.

I’m sorry that it has to be like this. I hate it so much. I miss the way we’d talk. I hope everything turn out okay….for both of us..