This is how a broken heart still breaks

Is life not about taking chances? Not always sticking to the safe way or the easy path? I’ve been told ever since I was little that the harder path, although may be harder and full of challenges, usually pays off in the end. 

I fell in love recently. We were/are not together, but I love her nonetheless. I would move mountains for her. She is so important to me, but I’m so afraid of losing her. 

You see, she plans to marry another. Nothing is harder than to watch the one you love, love another and have plans of marriage. I would have given anything to give her the life that she wanted. To take her away from everything, where she can just be happy. None of our troubles, just her and I and our life…that’s all I wanted…that’s all I want. 

We spent the day together yesterday and it was absolutely perfect. The only bad part was when she had to leave. We were so happy together. Her being around just makes me happy and makes me smile. She makes me so nervous, but so confident. I feel so weak but she makes me feel so strong. She is absolutely everything that I could ask for, everything that I search for. Imagine finding your dream mate, partner, whatever. Imagine finding them, and having to continue the search. Imagine finding exactly what you’ve been looking for and being told to keep looking. I can’t imagine ever finding anyone like her again. 

I hate to be so selfish, but I want so bad to have her…I would give and do literally anything just to be able to call her mine, and I hers. I don’t want to lose her to someone else…It’s only been a day since I’ve seen her, not even 24 hours, and I miss her already. I miss her face, her voice, her laugh, her eyes, her smell, her touch. 

I can’t even think of her with anyone else. I want to take her off and start a family and grow together. I want so bad to be able to wake up every morning and see her, to fall asleep next to her. 

I don’t even want to think of going off alone, without her. 

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