Is there a reason for this?

I no longer know what to do. I’m half tempted to email my IST coordinator and tell her to hold off on making sure it’s ok for me to just go back, to write a check for the people who bought my ticket and just see if I can work things out here. I just don’t know…I want to leave but yet I don’t. I disappoint someone one way or another. I’m just going to have to accept that. I just wish it didn’t have to be my mother…

I can’t do anything without hating myself. 

AND I think I may have a cavity…it’s always something. 

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