Right side of the bed

Tonight I sit here and think to myself, “This is the first time in two weeks that I am sleeping in my own bed. Sleeping alone.” It’s only been a little over twelve hours since I last saw you, and I feel like I’m missing something. Even if we weren’t “together” it was still seeing you everyday, seeing your face everyday, thinking to myself “she is so beautiful” every single day. To know that I’ll be waking up alone and not being able to see you, is keeping me awake.

Last night I had a hard time sleeping because I knew it would be the last time..the last night. I laid in bed with you and watched you sleep for quite some time…it was peaceful…and beautiful. I wish I would have been better. I wish that I would have been the person that you originally fell for, but along the way that person was consumed by trust issues and jealousy. All I want is for you to know that I’m not the person that you explained to me. “Unpredictable, unstable, childish”. Those words keeping echoing in my head. That’s not who I am or who I wanted you to think I am.  I didn’t want to leave you the way I did. I didn’t want things to end on that note. 

I just hope that I can still call you my friend. Goodbye, love.

For now. 

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